First Quarantine & First Pregnancy #4 DateNight
The other night when I realized we hadn’t been on a date since this quarantine started, I got so upset! Date nights obviously took a low priority when your life is turned upside down and you have all of these new routines and decisions to figure out. On top of being newly pregnant for the past few months, and technically spending “more time” together at home, I honestly hadn’t even thought of it. Sure, we’d watched a few more movies and shows in the last few months as a couple than normally, but couch dates in sweatpants don’t do the same thing as an out of the house dinner date. When you are completely away from the kids, without having to pause the show to check on them, and with the ability to fully focus on your man. Ugh, I need that! We were usually consistent with our date-nights at least every few weeks pre-Covid. So that’s it, I thought last Monday. With my first trimester nausea gone, and being able to actually focus on my calendar, I saw Friday night free (as really most nights lately), and searched for a sitter. Praise God, one of the boys uncles agreed! He showed up before dinner, we ordered them pizza, dressed up and left them for three glorious hours. We ordered take out downtown, brought a towel to wipe one of the benches to sit on, and ate a kid-free meal. It was weird seeing how different the Friday night town was, as much as I tried to re-create the Friday night date vibe. A small crowd coming to pick up food, a few couples walking their dogs, and restaurant owners standing outside in masks and gloves to deliver. I spent too many minutes asking him to take these photos ;) but it was exactly what we needed. Space outside of home, alone, together. I kept thinking how thankful I was, and how prioritizing my marriage in this pandemic has been somehow overlooked, or just look differently. It’s not been easy for anyone. But it was my mindset shift to “I’m making what I need happen,” instead of, “let’s make the best of another movie night,” that helped reset my wife game.
When the “think of all the things I can accomplish on quarantine!” turns to “why have I accomplished less than ever before?” and the “think of all the fun quarantine dates we’ll have,” turns to “think of all the nights I blew,” I need a re-set. I need to re-evaluate my mindset. Otherwise it bleeds over into my marriage, and my husband gets the unfortunate brunt of it. I need to tell myself there is still a way I can dress up and leave the house with just him. I just need to find a way to make it happen. Thank you Lord for that small opportunity last night!
I hope we all find the small marriage resets we need, whether it be time apart or time alone together. Let’s keep asking God to help us with the motivation to reset in small, creative ways and the have the courage to make it happen :) I’m actually glad I wasted the minutes on those photos, because it’s encouragement to myself that it was possible! I’ll have proof of our first quarantine date-night, with empty downtown streets and a masked man in the backdrop. And now I’m already planning our next :) Don’t doubt that you can find your creative marriage resets, date-nights or whatever it is your need. And don’t feel guilty documenting it :)
