Decision Fatigue Remedy!
I remember the first time I heard the phrase “decision fatigue,” a few months before Covid on a mom blog. Omg! That’s what I have! An embarrassing overwhelming fatigue of decisions. Kids school decisions, work-life decisions, kids activity decisions, house and finance decisions, etc. All normal mom life dealings, but with an unchecked unawareness that was driving me crazy. What was wrong with me? I thought. I’m a smart woman, this shouldn’t be that hard! Why is a pro/con list not enough? That’s when my new favorite podcast, The Next Right Thing, rescued me, “A weekly podcast to help clear the decision-making chaos, quiet the fear of choosing wrong, and find the courage to finally decide without regret or second-guessing. Decisions are hard and you want to make good ones. I’d love to help.”Mic drop. This introverted, calming host, Emily, was speaking directly to my extraverted, impulsive self. I’ve since binged every single episode, and it’s been therapy. I can’t recommend it enough, especially now, during this uncertain, amplified decision fatigued time.
Emily addresses why are certain decisions so much harder for us than others. She helps bring self-awareness and acceptance. For example, personally, the working mom discernment has led to lots of my decision fatigue. I want to stay home with my kids, I want to work professionally, and it’s always a struggle to find that balance. I’d search for the “right” answer and interview SAHM friends, how could you give up your career? Don’t you miss it? I’d interview my FTWM friends, are you planning to cut back at all with kids now? If you didn’t have to work for financial reasons, would you still work that much? One says, “Once I held that baby, I couldn’t imagine working ever again!” Another says, “I love my kids, but I couldn’t imagine not doing what I love every day!” Both say, “Sure it’s hard at times for (fill in the blank) reasons, but that’s what we’ve chosen to sacrifice.” Still unsatisfied and not relating, I’d question, but which one was the “right” one? Please, as a firstborn rule follower, tell me what’s the “best” choice! I just want to “do the right thing!” (thanks Dad J) Maybe that’s what made school so appealing to people like me, give us a syllabus and we’ll gladly ace it. And that’s what makes some of these motherhood decisions so tough. We’re looking for the non-existent syllabus of motherhood. Our search might lead to books proving the benefits for children with a mother staying home, and books proving the benefits for children with a professional working mom. So why the confliction? Because God gives us commandments for a moral life, not commandments for how we are to live them out in our daily vocations. There He gives us freedom. Like the amoral choice to work or stay home with our kids. That is where we get hung up in mom decision fatigue. We kill ourselves trying to find the “right” answer to neutral questions. The working/staying home, public school/homeschool, breast/bottle. God isn’t trying to trick us on these. He’s the one who gave us our unique passions, desires, circumstances, and personalities. Just last week I had to make an important career decision and was reminded of all of this. God’s not looking for our perfect decision, he’s looking for our purity of heart in the process. It’s not about finding the right answers, it’s about guilt free trusting the right answers He made for you.
Decision fatigue tips that helped me:
Listen to The Next Right Thing podcast. Pick a time this coming week, while making dinner, folding laundry or in the car. Start at episode 1 or browse through the episode list and pick one that speaks to you. It will be like a 30 minute soulful retreat.
Talk to a trustworthy girlfriend about a decision that’s bothering you.Tell her why you are confused, scared, nervous or whatever.
Tell God you are really trying to make the best decision for your family.Be brutally honest, ask him to help you to not feel guilty about your choices and send you some peace. Repeat, “Jesus, I trust in you with this decision. I give this decision-making process to you.”
Focus back to the present, and just do your next right thing.
I hope it helps bring ease to this seasons crazy line of decisions!
In Joy,
Alex