Mom's Guide to Gift Giving for Christmas
Lots of thoughts on Christmas morning 2021 surrounded by my 4 boys! (5 including my husband ;) I’m so thankful for the gift of LIFE, and for the aging perspective of what really matters on Christmas. I’ve already lost my temper, which I think happens to most moms when we set our expectations too high (or set them at all!) For the greatest thing we can do as women in our family is to RECEIVE over CONTROL! (that’s a whole other post in itself, with a reflection on Mother Mary as well ;)
Yet, we were blessed to have a tree full with gifts underneath! and we did pause for a moment on the stairs and sing “O Holy Night,” one of my favorite Christmas songs before the kids and I processed down the stairs to see the tree! I made sure that we sang, “Happy Birthday to Jesus” which was beautiful and then the kids excitement for the gifts began :)
We tried to have them wait in an order to open them, but that was hard for the toddler ;) I labeled the gifts with a black sharpie with their names and had them scattered under the tree. Nick filmed a lot of it from the couch and we had them wait for me to pick out the gifts to give them. My favorite part is seeing their reactions to the different gifts. I LOVE when I see them genuinely smile, it’s also a signal of what they love. I also LOVE to watch what they go to play with after its over. That’s one of the best parts of being a mom, as I’ve said before, the gift of OBSERVATION; watching our kids and then being their guide. This can be so hard when we try to control things, the best way I’ve learned is when I take a step back and just WATCH. This is where the magic of being a mom happens & I can see the different ways that God created them!
Mistakes & new lessons for the JOY OF GIVING:
Even amount of gifts for kids. Unfortunately, I did a lot of last minute shopping and didn’t pay attention to the amount of each kid. In a way it’s always more fun for me to shop for the oldest because I’m thinking about his new interests (and I think that’s just something that I have to overcome as I’m a firstborn myself?) but I quickly realized there were less amounts for the other three boys. I do NOT want to repeat this mistake! Instead, I want to come up with a gift-giving GUIDE for myself (that other moms can also use!) to take that off! The second born did say, “he got more than me,” and as much as Nick said, “you can’t compare gifts!” I think that will be a natural thing children will do, as much as we have to try to prevent that, we also cannot set them up for failure by allowing opportunities of comparison (like one getting more gifts :/)
List of 5 or 10. Ideally, I want to have a list of probably 10 gifts per kid (might be more or less depending on the year), and use that as guide. This will help to keep it both even and easier for me to shop! Ideally, I’d want every kid:
Something to READ - maybe a classic book or a series they’ve been wanting.
Something to WEAR - a new outfit, something they are in need of in their wardrobe.
Something to PRAY with - a new sacramental/maybe miraculous medal, related to their patron Saint, or some kind of new devotional.
Something to CREATE - artistic related/design related.
Something to LISTEN to - a new CD or beautiful music or instrument related.
Something in NATURE
Something in SPORTS
Something COMPETITIVE - a new game, board game, game for basement
Something to WRITE - a new writing paper or notepad
Something for FUN - electronic toy or something that’s just silly/fun
FOLLOW THEIR INTERESTS! This is probably one of the most fun things for me to do with gift giving. It’s an opportunity to think of each kid, especially over the past year and think about what they liked and didn’t like.
Have the kids make a wish list to Santa/St. Nicholas. This actually serves as a VERY helpful tool! It allows me to see what they are thinking about & what they WANT, and I think it actually helps them to think about it too! As an adult, I’ve recently lost a lot of my interests and desires…but when I take the time to make a wishlist it actually helps me re-focus! It helps me have a goal, get in tune with what I’m desiring and put it on paper. There’s a JOY in learning what gifts we desire, because it also puts us in check with our God given interests. I love how one might put down an engineering set, one wants an art kit, one a basketball…they all want such different things, just like us as adults, and having a wishlist helps us learn that!
Do not base Christmas lists on behavior. I did grow up hearing, “be good so you get gifts for Christmas,” and I’ve seen it as such a helpful tool for bribery in motherhood…BUT I don’t want to say that anymore! I want my kids to know that they will get gifts not for what they’ve done or not done…but for who they ARE. I’m not sure exactly how I’ll change the language, but sticking to a rule of 10 might help, “on Christmas you will get 10 gifts no matter what,” - this is what I want to do!
Follow a budget. Embarrassed to say I’m one of the last minute shoppers who fail to keep a budget for Christmas. Next year I want to have one and faithfully stick to it!
Give to your husband in front of kids. I want to model giving gifts to each other as parents. I want the kids to see me giving gifts to Nick & vise versa. We always get things for each other (this year he got me a beautiful dress from Nordstrom (first time ever shopping there!) and air pods! (which I’ve been LOVING!) and I got him an Eagles hat, gloves and mug! but I want the kids to see us exchanging them and learn the JOY OF GIVING.
Have kids do a sibling exchange. Ideally I’ll take them individually to buy for each other.
I want my family to learn the JOY in giving. Jesus came to us a GIFT, and he gave us everything as a gift in this material world. I want to steward it well and teach my family the same. Dear Jesus, thank you for the gift of Christmas, and help us to learn from our mistakes and to model and teach of the JOY OF GIVING.
A reason why I LOVE WRAPPING, because as I wrap - I think of each child :)
Merry Christmas 2021!!!!! “For unto us a child is BORN!”
In Joy,
Alex
