How to Overcome Mom Envy
I have a million blog posts I’ve been waiting to get to, but in my hour break this Monday afternoon I feel this is the most pressing on my heart. Oh, motherhood! Oh, early motherhood! Those first years where you constantly doubt your identity, your capabilities, your children. No one is immune to the purging of selfishness we must go through as we learn what giving of ourselves to our children looks like. Unfortunately, the years of higher education spent mastering a craft left little preparation for mastering motherhood. It is a true experience of learning on the job! And like any job, the early years challenge us in a unique way. You see those before you & think I will never get where she is. Satan knows our tender hearted vulnerability, and uses envy as an easy target to a moms heart.
The deadly sin manifests in different ways, of course depending on your unique temperament etc, but I have come to learn this is a struggle every mom faces. Don’t underestimate how social media amplifies the trigger. Seeing the best of our friends kids can easily lead to the less than feelings. BUT, as I experience this summer full of play dates and enter a new stage of motherhood, I want to share my lesson learned:
The number one way of overcoming your mom envy is to: “Get to know that mom you envy, or that secretly inspires you!” Start with a prayer for her, and then reach out. Set up a time to get to know her, message her, invite her over. Very simple, yet, sometimes very hard. I want you to tell her, wow, I am impressed how you ____. I admire how you ____. Not only will you make her day or make her cry, but you will open up an honest conversation. You will realize she is a human just like you, struggling with herself, and you have something to offer each other. Lessons and wisdom in books and the internet only go so far. You need the face to face connection for wisdom and peace to breed. Ladies, we all have unique gifts we give and offer to each other! The ONLY way to unite in our motherhood, is to reach out, spend face to face conversational energy, and overcome the devilish divides.
Make it a goal this summer to rid your heart of mom envy. Reach out to another mom. A mom you want to learn from, a mom who inspires you, a mom who intrigues you. You will learn from each other. I am promising you, the key to a fulfilling and happy motherhood is community, community, community. It can be scary, but keep trying. Those who have it, are those who have tried. Not only will reaching out rid your heart of envy, you will learn about yourself, build confidence, and make best friends! I have wonderful news; motherhood is not a competition, and you are not less than. God love you, loves your kids, and is pleased with your motherhood! Don’t get jealous - get community ;)