Staying Sane at Home(school)

“Staying home” has always been a hard one for me. A slow decision to own, and a confusing path to process. When we initially decided to start homeschooling years ago, I didn’t think that meant not working outside the home. I was thrown off by the women who “of course I didn’t want to work anymore, I’ve always wanted to stay home once I had kids, I just knew that.” “I have always prayed my husband would allow me the privilege of staying home.” Although I highly admired it, I could not relate. Staying home to raise kids was never a goal for me, or at least never something that I had thoughtfully thought through. I just loved my professional education and wanted to be a mom. Thankfully, the nursing profession (as I saw my own mother of 8 children live out) allows for one of those extremely flexible jobs that can pretty much work into any type of family schedule. And even more thankfully, I’m learning there is no one way to mother and no right way of mothering/schooling/staying home. Also, there really isn’t meant to be rigidity in family life decisions. Seasons, Alex, they change. Family size and life situations change. Yet back to that beginning time, although I saw others making different choices, for me, I have realized, it was never about choosing homeschooling over my career, it was just making a life with them together. There’s more than one way to skin this cat, Alex, do what works for you. I share this with you in hopes it will help you bring to consciousness your own story, during this unique time.

Enter motherhood and my passion for education flowed into our family’s call to homeschool. Six years ago our journey began with the classical academic advantage being my initial draw, (also my own husband’s example as a homeschooled elementary child). I voraciously read all of the books, followed all the podcasts and had my oldest reading chapter books at age 4. (which by the way research shows is not necessarily an advantage!). However, I have absolutely have fallen in love with the “idea” of homeschooling, and all of the resources and advantages that come along with it. Now the practical part of “staying home,” and “putting it into practice,”? Still struggling, still in the trenches. (currently in the midst the Cornovirus with the rest of the world!) Yet, reflection of the good days is what helps to continue; just like any job. I’m sharing this post in hopes that if you are anything like me, you can learn something from my experience :) & in light of the special Feast Day today of The Annunciation, we can ask Mary to help us to say yes in the call within our homes!

Quotes that help me in the home:

“The mother is the heart of the home. When she is joyful and peaceful, so is everyone else. Fill yourself with joy and peace first.” - every motherhood book I’ve read, your oxygen mask first

“Your job as a mother is the most important job in the whole world.” - attributed to Mother Teresa

“How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No. A woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.” - G.K Chesterton

Practical Tips that help me in the home:

Set out the night before. Whether this is school plans, meal plans, workout plans, by 10pm know and review your plan for the next morning/day ahead of time.

Relay expectations to the kids ahead of time. Ideally in the beginning of the week, or the night before in a forced smiling voice ;) “this is what we are going to learn today.” “This is what we will be doing and what we expect from you.” The most resistance is usually hit when its a sudden, “now is time for ___” “get ready for ___” with zero preparation. This also helps with going to a party, mass or anywhere with the family.

Start with fun. Recommendation from Pam Barnhill in her Morning Basket show about homeschooling. I hear a lot of recommendations to start with math first to “get it out of the way,” but when I start the learning with something I am excited about, a chapter book I love or the Bible, I am much happier to present the math worksheet later.

Use a timer. For everything. School subjects, reading, my home workouts. It really helps.

Do the younger kids first. Start with your youngest (whether nurse the baby, focus for 5-10 minutes on the toddler and working your way up) is genius. The temptation is to start with the school aged who really needs the actual teaching, or is more interesting than the ABCs, but when not filling the younger kids tank first, it backfires and you have less time with the good stuff.

Hide your phone. When trying to get something productive done in the home, the phone is your worst enemy. I’ve found silencing even too tempting, will keep checking, for me it has to be completely hidden out of site. When I am serious about school/writing (for you it could be cooking in peace or whatever) I turn it off and put it in an upstairs drawer. Pro-tip: Tell your husband first. One of the first times I tried this a few year ago, it happened to be a time my husband was trying to get in contact with me about something important and I didn’t tell him I was disconnecting and an hour later a neighbor showed up at my door to check in on me…haha so let your spouse know if you are disconnecting and at what times just in case ;)

Lastly, I just read a post about why “homeschooling during the CornoVirus” is not a good example of what homeschooling, or being a stay at home mom, is really like, and I loved that reminder. Homeschooling is usually not something you are literally thrown into with zero planning or reflection, and not in a general lockdown environment. This is definitely a uniquely challenging time for everyone to stay sane at home, in whatever the circumstances. Well, if the “start before before you are ready,” adage has become a reality for you, I hope this post can help you stay sane in some way! Prayers for sanity, mama!

In Joy,

Alex

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 4:6-7

May Mary’s Fiat of today’s Feast of the Annunciation be an inspiration to you!

Related Posts:

How I am Using Advanced Education in Motherhood

Five Books that Changed my Motherhood

Alex DeRoseComment